Mon chat

My cat died and I'm feeling awful.
Well, okay, I lied.
I don't have a cat. And my non-existent cat did not die.
Well, it did. I certainly feel like it did. If I had a cat and it died, I'd feel like I do now.
Or not.
I don't like cats. So I wouldn't feel like crap if it decided to fucking die on me.
Or maybe I would. I wouldn't have a cat if I didn't like him.
So yes, my cat died and I feel terrible.

Deep breath.
(Some sobbing while listening to sad music)

I really loved my cat, you know? He understood me so well, and sometimes not at all. He never knew how to cheer me up but I was glad he tried. He loved me so much and I loved him too. I still do. Even if he decided to fucking die on me.

I don't know if I'll love a cat as much as I loved him. No cat could replace him.

Sir Ramsay, I hope Cat Heaven is treating you well.