Sunday, November 30, 2014

Lynn Yaeger: Candidate for Adventure Time Princess

via BoF
Lynn Yaeger. Writer for Vogue, wearer of multiple skirts and distinctive makeup. Oh, and not to forget the flaming closely cropped hair.

I first read about her in Business of Fashion.
Such an interesting personality! I tried to dig up more about her, after landing up on the disappointingly short Wikipedia page!

I dug deeper, and learnt that she has Prosopagnosia, also called face blindness. Read about Lynn's experience with it here.

I began to wonder if she adorns herself the way she does as a manifestation of her difficulty in recognizing faces. She's set markers for others to "help" them recognize her. This isn't an original thought, though. She's wondered about this herself.

I've been obsessed with Adventure Time, and couldn't help but wonder how amazing it would be to have a caricature of her on my beloved cartoon show! As a princess, no less!

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Mon chat

My cat died and I'm feeling awful.
Well, okay, I lied.
I don't have a cat. And my non-existent cat did not die.
Well, it did. I certainly feel like it did. If I had a cat and it died, I'd feel like I do now.
Or not.
I don't like cats. So I wouldn't feel like crap if it decided to fucking die on me.
Or maybe I would. I wouldn't have a cat if I didn't like him.
So yes, my cat died and I feel terrible.

Deep breath.
(Some sobbing while listening to sad music)

I really loved my cat, you know? He understood me so well, and sometimes not at all. He never knew how to cheer me up but I was glad he tried. He loved me so much and I loved him too. I still do. Even if he decided to fucking die on me.

I don't know if I'll love a cat as much as I loved him. No cat could replace him.

Sir Ramsay, I hope Cat Heaven is treating you well. 

Sunday, July 13, 2014

Write something, anything!

Okay, I'm going to be brave today and write something. I will not close this window because I have nothing to say. I shall be Kim Kardashian*. Minus the sex tape. And Kanye West.

I shall also be French. Because Garance DorĂ©
That reminds me, I need to brush up on my french. Duolingo, you foxy owl, you. 

When in doubt, list it
So, I'll be reading a bunch of stuff and writing about it every day occasionally this week
Here are the titles of my future posts:
1. Potato Salad Kickstarter 
2. The reproductive system of a kangaroo
3. The Quit-your-job-and-do-what-you-love wave
4. The perfect recipe for viral content
5. "Be yourself" and other moronic things people say
6. Bees
7. Why I don't use Facebook (I know, done to death. But I want to whine about Facebook too!)

This strip explains my relationship with that pesky social networking website.

I signed up for Facebook because I did want to cultivate interpersonal relationships. Also, I wanted to become less island-ey. But then, out of nowhere, stupid cats popped up in my news feed. So did selfies taken by narcissistic girls and the stupid comments accompanying them. And those typos!

Guess number 7 on my list is done! That sure was easy!

*I shall embrace my air-headed bimbo persona and write something positively frothy and thoughtless, in effect creating nothing out of nothing. 

Sunday, June 29, 2014

Trying to Cut out the Clutter, but Cats!

Look, cat!

Yes, I have nothing to write and I just want to fill up empty space.
One would think that one would have plenty to write about, what with The Internet doing a good job of being The Internet. That reminds me. Behold, Paul Otlet who catalogs Stuff

Or is it all The Internet's fault? (I love calling it The Internet, sounds ominous, no?) Is my mind cluttered with the endless barrage of tweets and updates and posts and feeds? (I don't use Twitter or Facebook, but I like to say Tweet) Is my brain running out of space, with mindless Tumblr cats replacing important information like anniversaries and birthdays of loved ones (One anniversary and two birthdays forgotten this year, not counting the ones I clean forgot, of course ) and remembering to wear pants before I go out.

So, I shall cut down the clutter and remove all that senseless noise from my brain (I shall be retaining the no-nonsense lady who resides in my head, who tries to keep me from spewing nonsense. Because she's been doing a bad job so far and I like mocking her )

Well, maybe tomorrow. Because science! Lifehacker told me to look at cute animals to be more productive. Here's the study that says so.

I'm incorrigible.

Saturday, May 17, 2014

Animals. Also, Essays on Coffee Cups

Today, an ode to animals and what they can teach us!
Presenting, dog:

And next:
Sample Little Dog's Rhapsody in the Night, by Mary Oliver:
He puts his cheek against mine
and makes small, expressive sounds.
And when I'm awake, or awake enough

he turns upside down, his four paws
in the air
and his eyes dark and fervent.

Tell me you love me, he says.

Tell me again.

Could there be a sweeter arrangement?
Over and over 
he gets to ask it. 
I get to tell.
I have no words for Tim Flach's website

I do have words for this, though. I was getting tired of reading the backs of ketchup bottles/ cereal boxes when I had nothing to read at breakfast. Have you felt the utter hopelessness of not having anything to read when you're eating out by yourself? Of course, assuming that you've misplaced your smartphone. Plagued by the same misery, author Jonathan Safran Foer started the "Cultivating Thought" project which has original essays by writers printed onto cups and bags of Chipotle, a Mexican fast food chain.

via Vanity Fair
It did spark a few debates, you can read one here.

Sunday, May 4, 2014

Pictures, Emma Stone, and Love (alternate title: I don't know what the heck I'm writing about)

I don't like taking pictures. I hate being the subject of a picture. I'm the girl who stiffens up and gets awkward when she gets photographed. When I see something beautiful and/ or strange, my first instinct isn't to take a picture of it. I just gape open-mouthed at said object of beauty.

And if you know me well (and I doubt you do. Heck, even I don't know myself well!), I'm going to analyze the crap out of this fault of mine.

So behold, dear readers:
Why I hate being photographed and why I hate photographing stuff:

Why I hate being photographed
1. I'm deeply insecure about my looks. There, I said it.
That's the only reason, really.

And about my next pet peeve:

Why I hate photographing stuff:
1. I don't see the need of taking pictures when I know that I won't peruse them later anyway.
2. A picture is just a two dimensional representation, and I'd rather feel the experience, smell it, breathe it in, look for tiny irrelevant details and mull over it than waste time in snapping a picture of it.

I hate it when I stop writing halfway, but I think this guy explains what I want to say quite well. But please don't go to his Wikipedia page, he is a little cuckoo. But who isn't?

But please do take pictures if you have a Fujifilm Finepix S200EXR camera and your name is Vyacheslav Mishchenko. 
Presenting, adorable snails!

And now that I'm on a link sharing spree, I have got to share this video too.

And another (somebody stop me!)

Quite the sucker for love, I am.

Sunday, April 20, 2014

How to fall in Love with Cats

Cat taking a selfie

There, I've bowed down to the internet and posted cat pictures. Are you happy, Internet gods?

More fabulous cats (with a bit of fashion sprinkled here and there) here

For some reason, I've been trying to fall in love with cats. Everyone loves cats, and I'm passive towards them. There must be something wrong with me. To fix that wrong, I'm on a journey to find my Inner Cat Goddess and love her.

I Googled "How do I fall in love with cats?" And, well, I didn't really get what I was looking for. So people don't actually try to fall in love with cats and it simply happens?

Maybe I should try another Google search, "How do I fall in love with humans?" and that led me to this WikiHow page. Now all I have to do is replace "person" with "cats"!

There are three parts to "How to fall in love":

  1. Finding the right person cat.
  2. Developing the relationship.
  3. Building a lasting connection.

I'll cover one part in each post.
So here goes:

Part 1: Finding the right person cat

      1.  Bolster your self esteem
            "To fall in love and find the right person you must first have confidence and love invested in yourself." 
Love yourself: check. This is going to be so easy.

      2.  Consider why you want to fall in love
             "There's no right answer for why you want to fall in love, but there are some reasons that aren't good and that indicate a deeper problem. A few reasons to fall in love that aren't good: you are feeling lonely or think you need your self-esteem bolstered by someone else (this will make you take any relationship you get, which will lead to problems later), all your friends are in relationships, you believe you need to have a relationship to be happy. These are all symptoms of deeper problems that won't be cured by entering into a relationship." 
I want to fall in love with cats on a whim. That's not wrong. Is it? I'm almost sure it isn't wrong.

      3.  Consider what you are looking for 
             "No, don't make a list of exact specifications detailing the hair color, job, schooling level, and personality of your potential significant other. You're not going to ever find an exact match, but you should acknowledge the basics of what you're looking for."

Now the sudden realization hits me that this falling in love with cats thing isn't as simple as replacing "person" with "cat". But I've invested so much time into this so I'm going to see this through.

I'm looking for a cat that won't bite or claw me. Also, I'd appreciate it if she didn't aim hairballs at me. That's all.

      4.  Meet people cats
            "Of course, to be able to find someone with whom to fall in love, you're going to need to go out and meet people. This doesn't mean you have to be a big party animal, or that you have to do things that you're not entirely comfortable with, but it's a good idea to at least try and get out of your comfort zone a little bit."
People who have cats! I can always hang out with them (cats and humans) at their homes

      5.  Open yourself to new possibilities
            "Doing things that you might not otherwise have done can help foster a sense of excitement for you, as well as take you outside your comfort zone to meet different kinds of people."
I can do some cat-sitting, it's way out of my comfort zone.

      6.  Give things time
             "Even if you've been going to parties and your friends have been introducing you to plenty of fun, attractive people, you should still expect the process to take some time. Be patient. It can take years to find the right person. Along the way, you may find people that you think are right for you, but turn out not to be. Use these opportunities as learning experiences. Eventually, you'll get a sense for the kind of person you're looking for."
Now I'm really beginning to see how my replace-person-with-cats-in-a-WikiHow-article- for-falling-in-love approach was so wrong. I hereby declare that Parts 2 and 3 are cancelled. I'm sorry, dear readers.

To make up for my fickle mindedness, here are some adorable cats!

I hate paparazzi!

What did you just say, deplorable human?

Hipster cat

It's Monday already?!